Psychyology
by missmarykat
Summary: Shawn's cousin comes to stay.
1. All the Small Things

I don't own Psych, no matter how much I wish it [

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Something wasn't right.

That was the first thing Shawn noticed as he walked into the Psych office, pineapple smoothie in hand.

"Hang on a second, Gus", he exclaimed as he held up his hand.

Gus, who had just been in the middle of explaining the importance of his time seeing as he is juggling this and a pharmaceutical job, was affronted.

"What now Shawn", Gus questioned irritably.

Shawn, however, did not notice. Something was off, but what. Then it hit him…

"LACY", Shawn yelled, "I know you're in here, might as well give yourself up now, or face unmerciless tickling to the point of asphyxiation."

Suddenly, a black haired punk-y teenaged girl jumped out of the lockers.

"UNCLE SHAWN! What gave me away", she asked, honestly curious.

"You're getting better, but the pencils gave you away—I see you've been admiring Mr. Mouse over there", Shawn smiled.

"Well, how can anyone resist such a beautiful creature. I mean, what with his beautiful eyes, lovely hair, and not to mention his big, long b", Lacy was cut off.

Gus, who had just sat back and watched this little encounter with a smile decided to pipe in, "How've you been Lace?"

The goth-esqe type girl replied, "As well as can be expected when your parents are convinced you're the devil incarnate."

Gus looked quizzically at Shawn, who mouthed "_military school_".

"So how's the academy treating you", Shawn asked, not bothering to be tactful.

Lacey smiled, "Oh, I'm done with that for the time being."

"What, even the military couldn't handle you", Shawn asked his cousin.

"Uncle Shawn, Uncle Shawn, Uncle Shawn. Good behavior and a whole lot of whining gets pretty far with the 'rents", Lacey started slowly, "so far, that they've agreed to let me stay for the duration of summer!"

Lacey's smile grew even more at the looks of utter confusion on Shawn's and Gus' faces.

"A confuzzled Shawn Spencer, now that's not something you see everyday."


	2. Talk

Lassiter was in a horrible mood.

His head wouldn't stop pounding, or maybe that was the door?

Lassiter looked up to see O'Hara letting in Shawn Spencer, Gus, and a young girl dressed in one of the most peculiar outfits he had ever seen.

She had on a black corset top, plaid skirt, and black arm warmers—despite it being nearly 98 degrees outside. Her hair was in an odd mess of sorts—something like pig tail buns with random pieces jutting out at all angles.

"Lassie-face!", Shawn cried as he walked in the room; but then getting a good look at him, "what's wrong? Does somebody need some hot chocolate?"

"I'm in no mood to deal with you today Spencer, what do you need", Lassiter asked irritably.

"I sensed that I was needed", Shawn said in a dramatically low voice, "any new cases?"

At the look he was receiving from Lassiter he decided that was a no, "Well maybe then just to ensure your health, what about a nice pineapple smoothie?" Shawn inquired, holding up his drink.

The girl, who had otherwise remained quite still, rolled her eyes.

"In all honesty, sir, Uncle Shawn here was just showing me around town since I'm going to be staying for the summer", Lacey took pity on Lassiter and sidestepped any games Shawn wanted to play. The man was sick after all, save the games for later.

Lassiter smiled at this. Finally a little respect around here!

He turned his head to Shawn, "I didn't know you were an Uncle Spencer?"

Before Shawn could reply, Lacey quickly explained.

"Oh, he's not—he's my cousin. But I think that calling him uncle makes him sound so much older than he rightfully is—wouldn't you agree detective", She asked with a smile and a wink at Shawn.

Shawn normally would have been affronted if anyone took a quip to him, especially Lacey. And he would have been- if it wasn't for the wink.

Whenever Lacey had that look in her eye, Shawn knew that fun times were only a short ways away. He just wondered what and when she would do it to Lassiter, and was glad it wasn't him for once.

Shawn hated being on the receiving end of her boredom, but loved being a part of it. They made an awesome tag team—oh yes, Lassiter was in for some interesting times ahead.

Lassiter chuckled appreciatively at Lacey. He felt that he and this cousin of Spencer's were going to get along just fine.


	3. Come on Over

"Well that was uneventful", Shawn said as the group made their way out of the station.

"So what do you have planned for Lassie-face?"

"What makes you think I have anything planned?"

"Yeah", Gus interjected, "She seemed to be pretty fond of the Detective. I mean we all know he took an instant liking to her."

"Gus, you know Lacey as well as I do—she has something up her sleeve…or arm sock", Shawn paused, "what was with that sir crap anyway?"

Lacey just smiled as she got in the car. "Force of habit", she lied, "something I picked up at school."

"Why even bother lying to me Lace", Shawn sighed, "Well if I can't get it out of you, my father will. He doesn't stand for you calling anyone but him sir."

It was true, partially. If there was one thing she learned from Henry Spencer, it was you don't give someone condescending and cocky any respect unless they have earned it.

That is not to say be disrespectful, but to be courteous; polite enough just to get by. From the stories Lacey's heard, Detective Lassiter didn't particularly deserve the utmost respect.

Well, Lacey doubted calling him sir fell into the category of "yes you've earned my trust", but she was a self-proclaimed-somewhat-feminist-outspoken-individual all the while she always comes off like a perfectly polite young woman. Her calling somebody something as simple as sir normally meant a lot.

Lacey had this sarcastic wit that made her almost impossible to forget. She, unlike Shawn, found the perfect balance of sarcasm and tactfulness. She always knew when the situation called for it, and never came across as rude.

The majority of the ride was spent singing whatever 80's tune came on the radio.

"_You spin me right round, baby right round, like a record baby, baby right round"_, Shawn and Gus belted out while Lacey just laughed.

Before she knew it they were at the home of Henry Spencer.

Lacey stepped out of the car and started in when Shawn put up a hand to stop her.

"Shawn-what the-"

"-SHH!- let the super-smeller do its thing", Shawn interrupted.

He looked expectantly at Gus.

"We're in luck tonight", Gus informed. "Smells like _ sniff _steaks and _ sniff sniff _mashed potatoes, corn, biscuits and _ sniff sniff sniff _oOoOo apple pie with banana cream pudding for dessert—my favorite!"

"Dude, any desert my father makes is 'your favorite'", Shawn said.

"Well is it my fault that your father is a good chef and a mighty fine baker", Gus defended himself. "You just don't like it because he hardly ever uses pineapples."

"How can someone just ignore the most delicious substance-"

Gus coughed, interrupting Shawn.

"—Arguably, though I don't see how, the most delicious substance known to man", Shawn finished.

"Oh please Shawn", Gus stated, "If I had never gotten you that pineapple smoothie, you wouldn't even know a pineapple was edible. Up until the third grade you thought it was purely aesthetic!"

"First off", Shawn said, "I always knew you could eat them. And secondly, that's exactly my point! That smoothie opened me up to a world of fantastic…hey Gus?"

"Yeah Shawn", Gus was still transfixed on the argument.

"Where's Lacey?"

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"So where were they when you left them", Henry Spencer asked.

"Im fa medlm umpf uh dubt obut pnubbles", Lacey tried to answer with a mouth full of food.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it is rude to talk with your mouth full", Henry asked jokingly.

Lacey rolled her eyes amusedly and swallowed before trying again. "They were in the middle of an intense—yet entirely pointless—debate on the delectability of pineapples."

"Sounds about right", the older Spencer said.

"Hey", Shawn said clearly affronted as he walked in, "it is not a pointless debate! It is one of the most pressing matters of our day…you guys started without me!"

It was true. Even Gus had a plate in front of him full of food, making steadfast progress.

"And there are no more biscuits lefts", Shawn whined.

"Hey man", Gus said, "you snooze you loose."

"Dude, let me have one of your biscuits", Shawn asked.

"No they're mine", Gus answered without looking at Shawn.

"Come on Gus, you have like seven!"

"I'm a healthy growing boy Shawn!"

"Boy—Gus you're practically thirty!"

"So", Henry turned to Lacey, ignoring his son's and Gus' bickering.

"Sooo", Lacey replied.

"Shawn didn't mention anything about you coming", he stated loudly enough for Shawn to hear it.

"Hey", Shawn said grabbing one of Gus' biscuits and shoving it quickly in his mouth, "She just sprung up on me too! OUCH!" Shawn exclaimed as Gus punched him on the arm.

"That was mine! Now I'm going to starve", Gus exaggerated.

"Starve, Gus you're on your fourth helping and I know you're saving room for dessert!"

Once again Lacey and Henry ignored the bickering.

"How's my favorite police-man" at the look Henry was giving her, Lacey quickly continued, "I mean ex-detective, doing?"

"As well as can be expected with the boredom that ensues from retirement. How's my little delinquent niece doing?"

Lacey looked offended, "I am NOT a delinquent!"

"You wouldn't be able to tell with the way you dress!"

To Henry's bewilderment, Lacey seemed to brighten at this, "Why thank you sir!"

Henry scoffed, "You know I hate it when you call me sir."

"I do", Lacey said with a self-satisfied smirk.

"But stop side-stepping the question", Henry got back on track, 'What brings you to Santa Barbara?"

"You're slipping Henry."

He gave her a pointed look.

"In all seriousness Mr. Spencer, I just needed to get away", Lacey divulged, "and I thought what better way to pass the time than spend it with my _psychic _cousin."

She winked.

Henry, however, was on high alert, "How do you know about that?"

"Oh come on", she mock-whined, "Just because you don't include it in your letters doesn't mean Shawn doesn't in his!"

"You won't tell will you", Henry was pretty sure he knew the answer, he just needed her word.

"Of course I won't—why would I", Lacey was shocked, "this has to be, like, the coolest career choice ever."

"Why did he tell you though", Henry was honestly curious.

"Well, thanks to your training, I can play the same little trick on my friends", Lacey smiled ruefully. "And he knows that my friends and I are all into the whole "supernatural" thing. Some more than others grant it."

Shawn decided to insert himself into the conversation, "Yeah, I stole some of the way I act during a vision from her."

He shot her a brilliant smile.

"Yours are a lot more intricate and drawn out than I recall ever doing myself", Lacey replied and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, you know I've always been one for the dramatics", Shawn replied.

Henry chuckled, "Who wants dessert?"

Immediately three hands shot up into the air.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

You guys wanted longer chapters—is this okay? I hope it's not too drawn out. Please read and review!


	4. Light Up the Sky

"This stinks", Lacey complained from her spot on the floor.

"Tell me about it", Shawn agreed.

There were no new cases, no one needing a "psychic's" help, no where to go since the thunder storm AND nothing to watch on the television.

Gus, of course, was content catching up on some of his work for the pharmaceutical job.

Then Shawn got an idea.

He waved his hand to get Lacey's attention, when he had it- he pointed to an unnoticing, unsuspecting Gus.

They looked questioningly at each other, trying to figure out what to do.

"_We can't just hide, it would be too obvious",_ Shawn thought.

"_It's never any fun just to throw paper-balls at someone, oh jeeze-what a horrible nickname that would be…hm…but what to do with Gus"_, Lacy pondered.

"LOOK!", Shawn yelled pointing wildly.

Lacey stood up, and Gus looked up abruptly.

"What?" Lacey asked, looking questionably at Shawn, but Gus wanted nothing to do with it and was trying to get back to his work.

"OVER THERE!!"

"Where?", Lacey asked.

"DON'T YOU SEE IT?", Shawn asked jumping on a chair.

"I SEE IT! I SEE IT!", Lacey said, jumping on the couch and pointing.

"Quick, Gus watch out", Shawn managed to shout as he leapt into the air and tumbled over Gus' desk.

"Shawn-", Gus mumbled as he quickly got out of the way, "Seriously Shawn, I have work to get done!"

"WATCH OUT!", Lacey piped in, jumping from the couch onto Shawn's desk, "Don't let it get you!"

Shawn dived down to the floor and army crawled across the room under his desk.

"Oh no! Lace—I think", he paused, "something's happening…AGH!"

There was a struggle from underneath the desk as Shawn was wrestling the imaginary attacker.

"_You'll never get me alive!...What-NEVER!...You can't have any of them…no, No, NOO!"_

Then suddenly everything was quiet, Lacey and Gus looked at each other.

Lacey lay down on the desk and peered under the top.

Shawn suddenly sprung up and pulled her to the ground. They mock wrestled each other for several moments before Shawn pinned Lacey down and started tickling her relentlessly.

"Not---fair---get---off---uncle---Shawn!" Lacey managed to get out in between breaths.

"Never, my dear!" Shawn laughed maniacally.

Gus just sighed and watched with a smile on his face.

After a few more minutes, and a very persuasive bite from Lacey to Shawn's hand, they ended.

"OW! I can't believe you bit me!"

"Hey", Lacey held her hands up, "I told you I would! You know I'm a girl of my word!" She winked.

"You two are nuts", Gus laughed and went back to his work.

"Thank you", the two said in unison.

"Well that killed some time, any ideas on what to do next", Shawn asked Lacey and Gus.

"We could be quiet and let the adults….well adult work", Gus piped in from his position behind the desk.

"Nah, that's boring Gus", Lacey joked, "OoOo, we could tell ghost stories!"

"But there's no such thing as a good ghost story Lace", Shawn sighed.

"I don't see you coming up with anything better", Lacey whined.

"She does have a point Shawn", Gus said.

"I thought the 'adult' had work to do", Shawn huffed.

"He's taking a break", Gus smiled, "and ghost stories could be fun."

"This coming from the man who can't even watch the first fifteen minutes of 'The Ring'", Shawn said exasperatedly.

"Hey, that is a legitimate thing Shawn—that girl's scary!"

"If you're five maybe", Shawn said, "and that whole thing about turning the people like blue—what was up with that?!"

"She did not just turn them blue Shawn, she killed them. They just happened to take on a bluish tint with their mouths agape."

"That's another thing, I forgot about it, why were their mouths open? I didn't see any pineapple, so they obviously weren't eating…"

"Oh you just assume that since there's no pineapple, they weren't eating? That's ludicrous!"

"No, Gus, it is NOT ludicrous, pineapples are delicious and practical to have around at all times!"

"But still, maybe their mouths were open in mid-scream—ever think of that psychic?"

"But, once again, why would they be screaming? Only a five year old finds that little hairball scary."

"She comes from the t.v. Shawn!"

"Tivo dude, just pause it!"

"It doesn't work that way and you know it! I bet if she came out of your television screen you wouldn't be so calm!"

Just then a huge thunder and bolt of lightening broke up the debate, making both parties jump.

"Anyway, well do you know any good ghos…. Gus?"

"Yeah Shawn?"

"How come we always misplace Lacey?"

Shawn and Gus looked around the office; just then the lights went off.

"Aww, lame. The power must have gone out", Shawn exclaimed.

Another clash of thunder brought the two subconsciously inching closer together.

"Lace?" Shawn asked.

"Dude", Shawn whispered, turning to Gus. "She has to be up to something."

"Maybe she's using the lavatory", Gus asked hopefully.

At the look he got from Shawn, Gus added, "Or not."

_-BOOM-_

Another crash of thunder brought them closer still.

"Gosh, I hate thunderstorms", Gus admitted fearfully.

"I know dude, remember that time at Frankie's in the second grade", Shawn said in a whisper.

"You don't have to tell me twice", Gus whispered back, "I'll never look at a microwave the same."

Just then a bolt of lightening struck, emitting a bright flash.

And with the flash, the television turned on. Static.

"Well, that's a little creepy", Shawn whispered even lower.

_-BOOM-_

Another crash.

_-FLASH-_

Another bolt.

'_Seven Days'_ a disembodied voice whispered.

"Ha ha, very funny Lacey", Shawn's voice cracked as he said it—displaying his fear.

"Ye-yeah Lace, joke's over", Gus stuttered.

Shawn and Gus moved until they were practically on top of each other.

_-BOOM-FLASH-_

'_Seven Days'_ the voice repeated.

Just then a bolt of lightening filled the room with light and standing right in front of Shawn and Gus was a girl.

A girl with long, black hair in front of her face, arms extended saying '_Seven Days!'._

Shawn and Gus screamed.

Just then the lights came back on, revealing a laughing Lacey.

Shawn and Gus quickly jumped away from each other.

"Not funny Lacey!"

"Oh the contraire, Gus my good man", Lacey smiled, "finding you two nearly clinging onto each other as if your lives depended on it was quite hilarious!"

"I didn't believe it for a second", Shawn tried to reclaim some of his manhood.

Lacey just rolled her eyes, "So…ghost stories anyone?"

"Yeah, sure, but I don't have any good ones", Shawn said.

"Dito", Gus answered, "why don't you tell one."

"Jeeze", Lacey fake complained, "I have to do all the work around here!"

"Okay it's not much of a ghost story, but a little creepy…I'll start with the real reason I came here this summer", Lacey began.

Shawn looked at her questioningly, "You mean it wasn't just because you missed me?"

"No", Lacy said with a wink, "It's because my parents were actually worried about me for once."

Shawn smiled.

"You see, my academy got shut down", Lacy paused-trying to think of where to go with this, "momentarily at least".

Luckily for her, Shawn (who saw she was struggling) stalled, "Yeah, I heard something about that—something about the apple tart right?"

"Exactly", Lacy said solemnly, "you see every third Friday of the month the dean would make his famous apple tart, I don't know why it was famous—it was disgusting!"

"Should have been made some pineapple upside down cake", Shawn had no idea where she was going with this.

"Tell me about it", Lacy also shared her cousin's love of the exotic fruit, "but anyway, on every third Saturday kids would go to the infirmary feeling sick. It would pass in a few days, but the illnesses got increasingly more and more violent."

"Why wouldn't they stop giving out the apple tart", Shawn asked.

"Well, first off- it was the deans, and who really wants to tell the dean that he's such a horrible baker, he makes the entire academy sick. And secondly, there are a number of things that could have caused it, every school has novelties."

Shawn really did not know what to do here, so he looked over at Gus; who he noticed was starting to buy into the story.

"Until one Saturday, a kid died", Lacy said lowly.

"Now we all just thought it was due to his asthma, you see he had a heart attack brought on by stress, which lead to his asphyxiation. We all noticed that Jimmy hadn't taken his inhaler that day, and it was particularly gruesome."

"Then all hell broke loose", Lacy shuddered, "The faculty assured everyone and their parents that all was well, it was just a horrible accident. The newspapers ate it up, selling out the sympathy story."

Shawn interrupted, "Everyone but you believed it was an accident you mean."

"Well of course", Lacy paused, "I could have sworn the two instances were related. But who could I tell; I mean who would believe me?"

"Well, more of these little 'accidents' started happening everywhere, winter had come on and most attributed it to the flu or pneumonia. Everyone was getting sick, teachers, students, and janitorial staff. But they kept on selling that tart", Lacy looked at Shawn to see if this was having any effect.

Shawn gave her a slight nod to keep going, but his look said get to the point.

"Well, seeing as so many people were sick I got a job in the kitchens", Lacy continued, "And one Saturday it was my job to put out the tart. Dean Simmons was running a little late, so I started the preparation without him. Well, when he came in and saw I had started he was a little taken aback, said I forgot to add his secret ingredient."

"Which was", Shawn probed knowing full well an unidentifiable possible poison would get Gus' attention.

"I didn't get a chance to see it", Lacy took a breath, "He pulled out a small glass vial and at my questioning glance simply said it was an old family recipe for vanilla extract. I could tell he was lying, but what could I say? And anyway, he's a horrible liar because it smelled more like a rotten egg than vanilla extract. A least I had solved the mystery of why it tasted so horrible."

"An unidentifiable substance with a putrid smell", Gus thought aloud, "that could be any number of poisons, let alone homemade ones."

"He wanted me to have the first bite", Lacy said, "He said normally the students don't stay and help him bake it, only Jimmy did once. He said it was his own little way of saying a thank you; the first piece is always the freshest with the strongest taste. I told him I wasn't feeling too well and didn't want to discourage the taste by not being able to taste it. He wasn't too happy, he already had sliced out a piece, but he gave it to one of the kitchen maids, who was on a break."

"Let me guess", Shawn said, "She was the next to go."

"Spot on Shawn", Lacy stopped for a beat, "Hers was the worst. She was sick for several weeks before it ended. Normally kitchen staff isn't allowed to eat his tart, except for the students I mean, so no one knew she had had any. Except for me."

"Well, Dean Simmons knew how this must have looked and he started pulling me favors left and right. I got the best bed, the best food, the most breaks, lenient grades… he just acted as if I had actually deserved any of it. I turned a blind eye—not even questioning his motive."

"That was my first mistake. I am known for being a bit more on the opinionated side, so when I didn't even question him, he knew I was suspicious. He ended up giving me an ultimatum—he would expel me, and load me on my way to juvie, or I could leave willingly with a spotless record and several very impressive letters of recommendation."

"So why did you just leave", Shawn asked, "You knew you had him?"

"He was a bit more persuasive than just words. Like in the form of a fist or two?" Lacey shuddered.

"Well anyway, I left. Told my parents I had to get out of there, Jimmy's death was too much for me to handle at the moment or something like that. So with the 'heartfelt' request and good report from the Dean, I was out of there; but not before I left some little hints as to what was really happening there. I just hope the right people find them and piece the parts together as soon as possible. So here I am…but I know things are still happening at the Academy. I just feel as if Dean Simmons isn't done just yet."

"Why do you think he started in the first place", Gus asked.

"I don't know, but I'm surprised he let me off so easy. I have a nagging suspicion his goodwill will expire, and he'll come looking for me; except this time I'll be permanently expelled, if you catch my drift."

Lacey looked at Shawn, who looked at Gus, who looked like he completely bought into the story.

"I'm disappointed Lace", Shawn stated, "You normally think of better bone chilling adventures of near death."

"I'm sorry", Lacey sighed, "I'm running low on sugar and high on sleep depravity."

"Well, I guess it's time for me to get back to work", Gus said, but Shawn could see he was still running through lists of possible poisons.

"I think I'm going to crash on the couch a bit Shawn, wake me when it's dinner time…or if you're having pineapple."

"Will do", Shawn went to his computer and started playing some games.

Yep, today was pretty much a drag.

Author's note:

sorry it took so long to update, school's starting and I have so much work to do already. I'll update as much as I can. I tried to make this a bit longer to compensate...not my favorite chapter...Read&&Review please ;p


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